Swinging has been practiced in America for well over half a century now, yet there’s tons of myths, half-truths, and misconceptions being told about this ecstatically adventurous lifestyle. It gets worse if you’re getting your information from some ridiculous online forums whose members have likely never been to a swinger party.
With a decade’s experience hosting wild swinger parties in California (where it all began), it’s our pleasure to set the record straight. So what exactly should you expect or not expect at a swinger party?
It’s a party like any other party – except kinkier
You’ve probably been led to assume that a swinger house is some dark and grungy apartment at the end of the alley with freaks walking around butt-naked and smashing with reckless abandon. Well, for starters, swinger parties are not synonymous with orgies, and members don’t go about getting it on with anyone or everyone at the party.
Secondly, swinger parties happen about anywhere. In fact, your next-door neighbor could be hosting an on-premise swinger party, and you probably won’t even notice. They can be held at private residences, dedicated clubs like the Hedonist House, luxury hotels, or on a yacht.
Here’s what you’ll find; neatly dressed people of all ages, races, and creed mingling, dancing, chatting, snacking, or drinking. Whatever you think happens at these parties actually happens, but it’s not the first thing you’ll see immediately you pop in.
There’s a designated play area in the house reserved for the kinky stuff. Once you’ve found a swinger couple willing to get intimate with you and your spouse, you’ll leave the general area for the play area to explore your mutual sexual desires and fantasies.
It’s not a secret community (or maybe it is), it’s just exclusive
One of the main differences between a swinger party and the typical neighborhood or club party is you can’t just turn up to the latter. They’re predominantly invite-only parties, which on the brighter side, means you could also be invited.
First, you need to find a party. It’s simple; just search “swinger parties near me” on your browser, and you’ll be stunned at how readily you can score an invite to a swinger party. Just make sure you bring a partner, especially if you’re a dude.
You could get lucky, or not
Folks, there’s no guarantees you’ll get lucky at a swinger party. It all depends on whether or not you find someone willing to do it with you. You’ll be mingling with different couples the entire time – some you’ll like, others you won’t, and it goes both ways. If they don’t like your vibe, they’ll decline your advances politely. If you and your spouse strike out the entire time, then it means you’ll be heading home the same way you came.
On the other hand, you could find another couple that wants to pair with you, and if you and your spouse are comfortable, you get lucky.
It’s not entirely about the sex
We imagine it’s hard to believe this, but fetish parties are not entirely pegged on couples getting it on.
For some, the parties are an opportunity to network and make friends. Swingers are typical people in business, career men and women, politicians, and entertainers, among others. You could actually make a business deal at the party – it happens more often than people would be willing to admit.
Others are first-timers looking to make swinger friends for future entanglements. They might not want to swap spouses the first time, but as long as they don’t break house rules, they are invited to stay.
And then there’s the voyeur couple that just wants to watch other couples swinging. They won’t be indulging in naughty activities, but they get off watching other people doing it. Perverts? Well, not if they adhere to the rules and boundaries of voyeurism which include not talking or getting handsy.
Swinger party is the safest space to explore
It’s worth noting that swinger parties are the safest spaces you could explore your outlandish fetishes and fantasies as a couple. There’re strict rules and boundaries to be observed for everyone to feel comfortable and have the best possible experiences.
The rules are pretty much basic courtesy meant to protect all the members. They include:
- Mutual respect and consent.
The cardinal rule of swinging is – NO means NO! It’s required of members to respect other people’s boundaries and always seek consent. State your boundaries and call people out when they’re about to violate them. It’s sexual violence if they can’t heed a NO.
The easiest way to get thrown out of a swinger party and never be invited ever again is pestering members after you’ve been turned down.
You and your spouse can only do that which you’re comfortable with and no one will pressurize you to get kinkier than you can take. The people there are respectful, friendly, understanding, and kinder than you’d expect.
- No aggression
Again, boundaries! Even BDSM at our hedonic calculus play area is carried out in a mutually respectful manner with no unnecessary aggression.
- No photographs
You can get as naughty as you’d like without the fear of featuring in the tabloids the next day. Phones are not allowed beyond certain points to guarantee discretion.
Swinging is a team effort
Sorry, but you can’t turn up at a swinger party solo unless you’re a swinger unicorn – you know, those hot babes who don’t mind being the third wheel needed for sultry threesomes. Dudes, on the other hand, are not lucky to be allowed in solo for the risk of creating an undesirable sausage feast.
It’s your duty to ensure your spouse is having the time of their life. You should only indulge in things your significant other is comfortable with. If your spouse is displeased with a certain scenario then it’s best you drop your interests as well. The goal is to spice up your union, not end up with a problem that didn’t exist before the party.
Get an invitation to a swinger lifestyle party, dress to impress, bring a gift, and show up with your significant other. Remember to be respectful of other people’s boundaries, and you’ll have the best time ever at a swinger party.
